If I’m to be honest and only glorifying the grace of God, I do not find it uncomfortable to enter into the brokenness of others around me and that I desire to comfort, to uplift, and to encourage! However, it is extremely difficult to be broken and to daily see brokenness in those closest to me without feeling the almost hopeless and helpless desire to try and fix everything! It may just be me, but I think that many others can relate to myself as well.
To those that we love the most, they tend to see every crack and flaw, and we display weaknesses and brokenness that the rest of the world cannot see, or that we try to conceal and to hide. I have become so used to and have almost trained myself into being ashamed of my weaknesses. Why? How is it that it is a joy to be able to help someone in need and to fight alongside them in life and prayer during their time of need, yet difficult to admit my own brokenness? Fear… Fear of being judged. Fear of opening up to someone and to be used. Fear of being looked down upon. Fear of being looked at as though complaining is a norm and constant. Fear of being honest and admitting to myself that I cannot fix it and that I’m broken and in need.
Some have been unintentionally trained that it is embarrassing, unacceptable, and casting burdens on others. However, if we simply dig into the meat of scripture we can clearly see that, God just isn’t ashamed of our weakness, but He delights in them and desires to take them all for us! He isn’t ashamed because only He Himself can take brokenness and create beauty – bringing Himself glory!
I was reading about Mary of Bethany in John 12. She came before Jesus with very expensive and one-of-a-kind perfume, her tears/brokenness, and wiped His dusty feet with her hair. She could’ve backed out from going to Jesus because of fear of being judged, embarrassed, etc. but she fell at His feet before many others gazing on and embraced Jesus. We are trained to run from this place, a place of vulnerability, but Jesus embraces it as dearly precious and beautiful!
The brokenness of life leaves us in a place of need; a beautiful place that Jesus sits and delights in. This place the world sees as “bitterness and complaint” is so sweet to Jesus and draws us into a closer and intimate relationship with Him!
We both know that truth of this: loving people is hard. My two greatest fears in this life are: loving much and getting hurt, and being alone. These two fears literally fight and strengthen one another! My fear grows my heart’s desire to love without fear of being hurt, but if I live with this fear, that isn’t true love because…
“Perfect love casts out fear” – 1 John 4:18
A Christ-obsessed love is hard – it brings us to the end of ourselves. And this end to ourselves, though we try to avoid it at all costs is a very sweet place to be. It is the place just as Mary who wept at the Saviors feet, which declared: I’m not sufficient, I’m broken, and I know that only Jesus can restore.
How can you invite God into your weaknesses today?
~ God’s Little Pencil