To the beloved daughters of the King,
You deserve excellence, goodness and the passionate love of your Father beneath the veins of all that beats in and toward your living. Within our own soul, we hold an undeniable craving for relationship, as we should, as we were designed to own the title of relational beings. As we should, being birthed from love and longed for by a trinitarian God. We were intentionally designed with relationship at the core of ourselves, paired with the hunger to be both fully known and loved. The Lord created us to be with people in unity, in fellowship and togetherness. He is thrilled to see when His children treat one another in ways which are fueled by His character and not our own.
Regardless of if the perfect Planner has you coming to another in a white gown or dancing just as joyfully as a single unit, He desires you to be one of high standards, because He is. This means He desires for us to date not just as careless, insecure humans, clinging to lust and quick admiration but as His offspring who know they were bought with a price and no longer need to act as the bondservants of man.
To be two in one flesh or one of one is unknown because we are merely human but may we honor the Lord regardless of guarantee in who we choose to be with in relationship. As the head of shortcomings, failures and settling, sin has deceived us into believing any relationship will do. In this day in age, how normal it is for social media flirtation and communication centered on read receipts. Our world has settled for a twenty-first century, “thing,” instead of a relationship with genuine, everlasting Love at its head.
The towel should not be thrown in simply because annoyance is found within your bones occasionally when speaking or watching the one you are with. We have the right to be human beings. We have the right to be a lovely mess and masterpiece all at once. We should not be expecting a man without flaws, as he should not be expecting a woman without them. But may our standards be altered by our truest identity; a daughter beloved by the Maker of the heavens and the earth, and not conformed to a world filled with all that is marked as temporary.
Our standard for the men we date should be gentlemen who are endlessly aware of how abundantly loved they are, for if they are not, they will never be able to love us in an overflowing manner. The men we date should not be cheaters or drunkards, running to the different corners of the earth for the same unfulfillment. Our standard should be men that hold doors in front of them, not behind. Our standard for men should be those who do not grip the numbing of this world for comfort but sprint to the comfort of their Father for healing. Our standard should be men who do not believe the lie that because we are in relationship, we owe anything to them, not our bodies, not our undivided time, not our commitment. Our standard should be men that know the difference between dating and marriage.
Relationships may end. They do end. Many of times, the two of you were simply not meant to dance in unity for the rest of your days. Perhaps, he was only meant to teach you how to Waltz and you were meant to teach him the Charleston and that was all that was necessary. Because Jesus is not wasteful with our relationships. But on the opposing hand, when we are with men who do not know the love that is for them and therefore, do not know the love that is for us, when we are with men who treat us with the standards of our generation alone, what our brokenness deceives us into believing is, we are only admired if we are with someone. And if we grasp the courage to end what we know is far below the standards of both ourselves and our living Lord, we believe we will be left alone, unloved.
In this fear, there is the option of viewing what is in front of you, being far too anxious that no one else will love you, and staying regardless of your deservings. When we settle, our sadness, our absence of fulfillment, our emptiness is no longer their problem, it is ours. It is only our own. We can blame others wrongdoings and lack of love on them, but when we stay in these places of destructive comfort, we are simply hurting ourselves further.
You deserve a relationship centered on Love, a relationship centered on something greater than flesh alone. You don’t deserve to be embarrassed by rude tipping habits or the absence of respect, even in areas so worldly. You do not deserve to be treated less than. You deserve to be introducted with passionate admiration. You deserve to be treated as a beloved daughter of the King. Anything below this, is truthfully below you.
May we stand instead of settle, standing firm knowing our worth does not waver in accordance with our relationship status. May we stand knowing what was created for us awaits us in fruitful timing. May we stand because real relationship is something grander, a relationship between two of high standards and well consumed love, not simply, “loved to be loved,” young people. May we stand because when we allow ourselves to settle we set up fencing around ourselves, fencing of deceit, fear and lies. Regardless of if an earthly wedding is to come in our lives after our heavenly wedding has occurred, when we settle in relationships, we disregard the image of relationship the Lord desires for us, as our hands align with the backbones of the true men that knew how beloved they were and in that, knew our worth was identical and still chose to count it higher simply because of Love.